Ready For Motherhood?

Honestly, who’s ready for motherhood? I don’t mean can your body create, carry and bare a child. That isn’t an easy or fun process. Except for making the baby, that’s always fun. But how many of us are really ready for everything involved. I don’t know of one person who ever told me just how selfless you need to be to be a mother. Parents will talk about the loss of sleep, long nights ect ect. But if you really think about it, it’s a lot of work to invest into someone who obviously doesn’t really get just how much they’re constantly asking of you. It’s so easy to focus on how much you lose when you have a child, which makes me wonder why so many young girls are dying to get knocked up. Yes, the pregnant belly can be “cute” and you get lots of attention, but after all of that passes you are left with the neediest most selfish infant, which you of course, will love with all of your heart and enjoy being that childs everything, or you will hate it and your life, taking it out on everyone else involved in your life. Don’t get me wrong I love my child more than anything in the world and I do not regret having him one bit. He is my world, and honestly I cannot imagine my life without him. But I cannot lie and and say I do not think back on how easy life is without a child. You don’t have a schedule to work around for daycare, or really have to worry about any kind of child care. Your availability is open, so money isn’t as much of an issue, time with your partner is open as well. You can answer the call of natural mating instincts without hesitation (as long as you are at home or an apppropriate place.) There is no one to worry about and constantly tell no to, pick up after, no need to child proof your home or car. Less mouths to feed and you can sleep without interuption. You don’t have to worry about sleeping on your childs floor at night just so they will go back to sleep. Vacations, forget about a lovely vacation while your children are very young, in fact with all the hassle you’ll probably just end up skipping vacations all together until they are older, granting the fact that you probably won’t even have enough money to take vacations anyways. How do you put your all into someone else when you may not have all of you to put into them? Take for instance when you’re sick. You do not get to lay around and relax and just try to get through it. There’s still cooking, cleaning, playing and teaching that has to be done. This is especially true for the stay at home moms. Really, the amount of sacrifices that mothers end up making, well the list goes on and on.
All that being said, if women really understood the depths of motherhood, how many would be jumping at the chance to become moms? I am not sure that I would have actually tried so early if I would have realized just what motherhood required (and because if I had an all enlightening sense, I would have realized my no good exhusband had actually no desire to be a father and would walk out on us right after the baby was born.) I would have tried to work and secure a better home and make sure that I knew the man I was with wasn’t just enjoying the idea of being a father, and wanting the perks of a child when they are older and more fun, and really just prepared myself better. If that is at all possible. I guess I am just realizing that I chose to have this child, I chose to be his mother and he may be the fussiest and the most stubborn child out there, but he’s mine and I made him. So it’s not neccesarily okay for me to be frustrated with feeling like I’m drained from giving so much of myself, because that’s just what they need, all of me, as much as children can get that is what they deserve. It’s what makes them and shapes them and it wasn’t their choice to be born, it was ours to have them so responsibility falls on us. Time for me to stop being frustrated occasionally by how much I constantly give and realize that is my JOB, that is what I am here for. I’m not allowed to be selfish, it’s not the way it works. But when they are older, we reap the benefits, we have built a family and a foundation of love. No body ever said it was easy, so why do we assume it is? It’s not easy but it is by far the most rewarding thing on this planet. No matter how rough a day you have, let that child do just ONE little thing and feel your heart grow from your head to your toes, the warmth of love fill your body and usually a big ol’ shot of pride follows that. No matter what your child does, one smile makes it all alright. One new thing learned sets a new pace in your world. Honestly, knowing it wouldn’t be easy and knowing that it would be this hard, maybe it’s better I didn’t know it. Or maybe being prepared for it wouldn’t have made it as frustrating. Who’s to say? All I know is even though I tried to get pregnant for over a year, when it finally happened I had no idea what I was getting into. When my child was born, I had no idea how to be a mother, but as he learned so did I. He’s taught me things about myself, and taught me patience (something I could always use more of), but he also taught me how to love in a way that I cannot even phathom or describe. And no matter what kind of life I gave up, no matter how broke I may be because of his needs and being a stay at home mom, everything was worth it for this child that I share my life with. So, was I ready for motherhood, and all the nitty gritty? Absolutely not. That’s the beauty of motherhood, you don’t have to be ready. When the baby is born, motherhood begins, instincts take over and you become someone totally different whether you are ready or not. New moms just buckle up, the ride has just begun.